Don’t give me that look. It’s true. Chickens are assholes. I know because when I was little, we had chickens and it was my job to gather the eggs. First, you had to make sure the rooster was no where to be seen, because those spurs on his legs aren’t decorations. Assuming you evade death by rooster, you then have to sneak up on the hens and ever so gently slip your hand under their roosting bodies and snatch that egg real quick like. If you aren’t quick enough, that asshole chicken is going to peck you. Hard.
That being said, I still wish I had a couple of chickens…and maybe a milk cow.